What am I doing!?

Feb. 24/14   Yesterday we packed the bags of donations we are taking to give out to the people of El Salvador.  The fact that I am really going on this trip is beginning to sink in and I am excited and scared.  This is completely out of my comfort zone.  Why did I signup? The same reason I do almost everything.  It was a spontaneous decision because my friends are going, and I have had a curiosity to understand what others have described as a “life changing experience”.  I know, not very good reasons and this is one reason why the fear is now setting in. 

The second reason I am having second thoughts is that I have read other blogs from our team leader, and past travellers on this mission. I am humbled and wondering exactly what I have to offer to the people I am going to serve?  Sure, I have things….like clothing, money, toys and candy for the kids, but I know that anyone, anywhere, could give those things.  What do I, Kendra Broadley, have to offer these people that someone else couldn’t do much better?  I have always struggled with evangelism.  I know and love the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength….at least most of the time…but sharing the Gospel with those who don’t know Him has never been my strong suit.   The one time I led someone to Christ was an accident.  I thought she was a Christian and so I was telling her what I thought she already knew.  Yes, I have an overwhelming desire for people to know the love, freedom, and joy I have found in Christ..but all of my attempts to share with “unbelievers” have been what I consider disasters.  Friends and family stopped calling, and avoided me or openly mocked my faith.  So, I decided to go underground…I would love them without talking about my Saviour and Lord.  That also didn’t work because then I started to avoid them…it is just too hard not to share who I really am with people I care about.  So far in my Christian life, I don’t think I have found a middle road. 

Maybe this is why I am going to El Salvador? My passion has always been to love and serve people that God loves and wants me to serve.  So far in my Christian life, that has been mostly service to other struggling Christians.  It’s time I learned how to share my love and faith with those who don’t know Him. In El Salvador with the encouragement and leading of people like Denis and Valerie Nikkel, Dave Morris, Del Arseneau, and the rest of the team, I have a feeling God will stretch me and teach me invaluable lessons that I wouldn’t have learned anywhere else.   I am excited and scared!